Facebook has become a real part of our lives. If facebook was a country, it would be the third largest in the world. That means that most, if not all of you reading this post right now have a facebook account. In fact, many of you may have clicked a link on facebook to get to this very article. So with so many of us on facebook, we can’t help but notice the many different types of posts, status updates, photos, and videos that appear on our news feeds each and every day. So having used facebook for almost 4 years now, I’ve decided to type up this post regarding what I’ve learned about facebook users.
**Disclaimer** This post is not directed towards any individuals, and everything here is my opinion of what I observe. Don’t let this offend you, it’s supposed to be a humorous look into social networking. With that said, enjoy
Facebook users at a glance:
This will be a list of the common facebook users that we all see on a daily basis followed by my usual reaction when I see his/her posts on my news feed.
- 1. The Gamers
We all know them. That one person that is constantly playing every single game that is introduced on facebook. Your inbox is constantly filled with game requests from these people (unless you’ve gotten smart and blocked the app or the requests). Whether it’s Farmville, Words With Friends, Castleville, Empires and Allies, or any other crazy game you can think of, these people make you eventually regret trying out the game just that one time. Ever since you got curious and logged into the game, now the game enthusiasts think you have become one of them, so enter the influx of requests. The opinion of these gamers is usually low.
My reaction: Keep your games to yourself.
- 2. The “LMS-er”
We all know these people. The ones that are up at seemingly ridiculous hours, scavenging the late night facebook crowd for just that one like. That’s right. They play the “Like my status” game. Now this game can come in many forms. The typical form is where a person may say “Like my status for…” followed by something that grasps the attention, perhaps the classic “smash or pass,” or a rating of some sort, but whatever it is, it may end up turning heads to the others who enjoy playing the game. The posts I see usually have a lot of likes, so apparently the game is somewhat popular.
My reaction: If I really wanted your opinion of me, I’d message you and ask you.
- 3. The Band Enthusiast
Everyone has their favorite band. But there are a select few on facebook that think their band is the absolute best- even if no one else has heard of them. They use countless posts to promote the band and mention it every chance they get. All of their friends are fully aware of the fact that they love the certain band or bands, and they may or may not share the opinion. However, generally it’s a good idea to cut the band related posts down to less than 5 a day. Just a common courtesy guideline.
My reaction: I’ve probably listened to your band at some point, but I’ve made up my mind by now, so your endless posts probably aren’t going to sway me.
- 4. The Boy-Crazy Girl/Mirror Pic Girl
We all know them- the girls that cannot stop talking to or about guys. In fact, they use facebook as a place to get new phone numbers and increase their database of guys to talk to. Yes, they’re the ones who often post things like “I need someone to talk to” or “Text me, and if you don’t have the #, ask.” Basically, it boils down to attention. They know they can get attention from guys if they act like they go for every guy that comes their way. These are often the girls that post countless mirror pictures (which arguably could be its own category in this post). The pictures are usually to increase their attractiveness to the many guys on their friends list, and despite captions of “just bored,” or “just snapping pics,” I can guarantee the picture was taken at least 15 times until she could settle on a picture good enough for posting. These girls often take up the majority of a high schooler’s news feed, so the pictures and attention-seeking statuses can get quite annoying (except to those in the next category).
My reaction: That’s cool. You want attention. This may not be the way you want to get it.
- 5. The Guy Looking for Girls (The Perv)
Anyone that’s ever seen the comments of an attractive girl’s photo albums knows that there’s always that one guy that must comment something to the effect of “wow you look great.” Even worse is the guy who will jump on every opportunity given by the girls in Category 4 (e.g. statuses about their bodies, new hair, or pictures that leave little to the imagination) to subtly hint that he’d love to see more. This guy is there on just about every attractive girl’s page, and due to the reasons listed in the above categories, the girls usually think nothing of it, as it’s used as a self-esteem booster. Sometimes the comments can cross the line, but where’s the line anyway? It’s the internet. Still, facebook would probably be much better off without the dynamic duo that is Mirror Pic Girl and the Perv.
My reaction: Have some decency. I’m glad you think that saying things about how good a girl looks on one of her pictures will get you anything at the end of the day. Girls feed off of guys like you, they don’t want to be with them. Grow up.
- 6. The Re-Poster (The Sharing Addict)
Of course, there’s the person that shares everything. Whether it be a mutilated dog, a bloody aborted baby, the latest cat video, or a clever overused quote, this person cannot resist the desire to click share so that all of their friends can witness what they’ve discovered on facebook. Quite frankly, these people are annoying. Filling the feed with often terrifying and inappropriate pictures that no one wants to look at. Sharing some things on facebook is good (like sharing this post haha shameless self promotion), but there’s a line that is too often crossed, so learn what to share, and what to pass by. Resist the urge to click the blue share button.
My reaction: *clicks “Remove person from news feed”*
- 7. The Oblivious
These users come in many varieties. Commonly, they are easy target for trolls, who enjoy laughing at these users’ ignorance or lack of spelling/grammar. In other forms, these are the users whose passwords are “password” or “1234″ or “ilovemom” who are frequent target for hackers, who in turn post great things about “have you seen this video!?!” or other virus-ridden links. These people just need to take school seriously and learn how to be a proper human being. So change your password, learn grammar, and before you get into a discussion, Google the topic so you know if what you’re saying makes sense.
My usual reaction:
- 8. Everyone else
Obviously, there are countless other categories I could spend hours typing up articles about. Some honorable mentions include, The Conspiracy Theorist, The Loving Mom/Grandma/Aunt, The College Student, and The Social Commentator. These categories speak for themselves, but ultimately one must realize that because of the vast diversity of facebook users, our facebook experience is that much better. Why is it we spend countless hours scrolling down a news feed every day? What do we hope to find? Often it is the small things, such as humor found in a discussion, a status, or a photo, none of which would be possible without all of these facebook users.
Sure there are normal people out there somewhere on facebook, but what is normal anyway?
So I hope you have enjoyed my guide to common facebook users. Hopefully you’ll pay more attention to your friends now, or figure out if you fit into any of these categories. Maybe you’ll notice more funny things from now on. Anyway, happy facebooking!
This article is solely the opinion of Ethan Smith. All remarks were intended in a humorous manner, and were not directed towards any specific people or groups.